Spirit of the Season

If you were a snowman what would you look like? Me, I'd most likely be completely naked with a double whiskey coke in my left hand and a pair of awesome snowwoman boobs in the other. I would wake up every morning with the snowwoman version of Scarlett Johansson gently caressing my frosty snowboner, then we would go to Denny's to enjoy All-American Slams and discuss current events. Since I'm lazy here is the best depiction you will get:






My friend Absolute Zero sent me a picture of what he would look like, and it was remarkably accurate. See below:





The detail is staggering...the disheveled hair and rage filled face (from long sleepless nights filled with his deepening self-anger and loathing), the middle finger raised proud and high, and of course the fully automatic AK-47 with extended ammunition magazine. I'm pretty sure he is firing the gun into a crowd of all his vitality-sucking, soul-devouring, evil ex-girlfriends...good work my friend.

...And here is a picture I made of Mr.T. This picture is the embodiment of the holiday spirit, fuck those snowmen posted above. My awesomeness just skyrocketed past Jesus...suck on that Christians...